Here are my some of my random thoughts.I have been down for so long time. I have keeping these all by myself and not single soul know about it. I guess I will just swallow it up and cheer myself up. Recently, I have been thinking again whether STPM is still my option or not. What if I did badly and enter a uni that I don't like? What if I did not get the courses that I like? All of my friends have already enter uni and havin' their own life there. But why am I still here? Many questions arise inside my thought. I have putting up a smile for quite some time. I am tired of it as I want to smile genuinely. I don't want to fake myself anymore. I have been all by myself all this while. Guess I will just let go myself and be free.
I am grateful I have a bunch of classmates who cheer me up at hard times too. At times, I always think that why my surrounding friends are always better and enjoying so much their life whereby I am not. But come to think of it, my life is not as bad as theirs too. This is what a friend told me in phone. In fact, I was told my life is the best among the all. I was blessed with all the stuffs I am having now. I can get what I want and desire and yet I still keep wanting more. How stupid I am. I don't even realise that I am having such a good and contented life. Thank God for sending an angel to realise how grateful I am.
Today, I managed to sent some of my friends in the airport. The feeling is not as bad as I had thought. In fact, it gave me an energy to sustain life and work harder so that one day I will be like them too, a person with goals and dreams in their hands. I want to be a better person too. Lord, please help with that. I am still grateful that I still have mom supports though I have been harsh all these while. I am sorry and love you, mom. And thanks Janice.
I will enjoy life from now on.
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We are all unique in our own ways. We all are serving different purposes in our lives when God first created and designed us. It is normal you will feel down when you are uncertain with your future. I experienced it before. Do not feel small, you will be it when you think of it. Have great faith in God and continue to pray until you get the peace in heart. I'm sure God will supply and multiply you strength and confidence in all you are doing and going to do. I will remember you in my prayers. Cheers~ :)
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